How to even start a blog post about this.. Did you ever have a time when you were a kid and you decided to do something, and more than likely there was brainstorming involved, because you never think of shit like this on your own. you have to have someone prompting you, pushing you along on the road to ridiculous. As a matter of fat I’ve had quite a number of times when that happened, but more likely than not I was the one with the idea, and the perpetrator would be someone (anyone) else. But this time I was the perp, and I think it was my ill conceived idea as well.
So I was about maybe eleven years old, or for the sake of round numbers, I’ll say twelve, and me and my younger brother Chuck were in the basement of my parent’s house in the burbs. I realized that I had to take a shit, but didn’t want to be inconvenienced by the trip upstairs to the bathroom. What’s a guy to do? Choices choices choices. Walk one flight of stairs and take care of what you need to, or find a corner and crap on the floor? Well, I wasn’t that disgusting (at that moment) so I figured out the only normal logical alternative. I will find a paper grocery bag (actually I don’t think plastic was really a choice back in the seventies) and I’ll just shit in there.
Anyone who has ‘worked’ with brown paper grocery bags knows that you have to fold down the edges to make them stay open. The fold should be fairly regular, about an inch is optimum, because then you have the maximum capacity for whatever you are storing in there. Let me tell you, if someone would need that capacity for a single dump, that person would probably definitely set a record for the largest single deposit ever made by a human at one sitting. Seriously that would be a lot of shit. I was not going for the record.
So there was logistics to consider. I needed to be hidden, just in case Mom [click to continue…]
{ 0 comments }
