I touched briefly on this girl Cindy that I knew while I was in Phoenix. She was pretty much a social butterfly and very popular. She was the girl you knew in the 80′s (if you were around in the 80′s) who wore the leopard skin, skin tight stretch pants, and they hid nothing and there was nothing to hide.
She was also very selective and through the time I knew her (about 2 years) she only had like two boyfriends, and there were a lot of ‘dry spells’ for her. She took that sort of personally, but like I said she was selective and when she had someone in her aim, she pretty much ignored anyone else and just stuck to that course. This was also the way that I looked at things at the time.
I was pining for this girl Robin, whom I thought was just pretty much my definition of what a woman should be. This is my old definition, and my tastes have changed considerably. At this point in my life, if I was single, etc, I probably wouldn’t give her much of a second look. But at the time… I wasn’t looking anywhere else, and she looked on me as just a friend. Arg. The scourge of that phrase.
Haven’t we all heard that a hundred times and thought, shit, just a friend, well, fuck. Or rather no fuck. But that shoe is just as often on the other foot. I’ve had a handful of woman that I was just friends with who I really had no clue they even liked me. Some of them I may have developed feelings for, but mostly they were also ‘just friends’ from my point of view. During really dry spells, I have looked back and thought, jeez what was I thinking there? A really nice girl, attractive, interested and there I was staring at someone who didn’t give a shit about me. Pining for the fjords.
Robin was a tom boy and a cowgirl.(even cowgirls get the blues, just not about me) She had that long flowing big Farrah type hair. I wrote her a long detailed letter about my undying love and she ignored it totally. What else could she do? I had someone write me a letter like that once, and I did the same thing. If you look at someone as a friend, it’s tough to try to sort that out, and well, the ignore seems the best course. It’s certainly the easiest course.
Getting back to Cindy. Oh, fuckit. That’ll be another entry. This ones too long already.
