Cop Dodgers
One of my jobs with the demolition company was breaking up cast iron. This is beyond a doubt the most boring job in the world. It is not anything to think about. There was a building once upon a time, and it had a basement. By the time I got there, the building was gone and the basement was full of large pieces of cast iron. My job was to make them small pieces.
To do that, I would raise a large block of cast steel to the top of the boom on my crane and then let it free fall into the pit. A highlight of my day would be a dump truck coming by and dumping a new load of big pieces into the pit. I would get to ‘make chat’ for a few minutes, possibly smoke a doobie and then get back to the pounding. I would drop that hunk of steel about 1500 times per day. Raise, drop. Raise, drop.
It got so I could almost do it in my sleep. I started reading during my shift. I could read a page or so in the 20 seconds it took to reach the top, then look up watch the drop and start the process again. Once my brother Tommy climbed into the rear of my crane and was throwing shit over my head. I didn’t even notice until one was timed with my drop. I couldn’t hear him over the roar of the engine (combined with the earplugs) so it wasn’t too surprising to me. He was amazed at my concentration.
Another highlight was that occasionally a large ship would float by. I was near a canal, so once in a while a huge seagoing vessel would go by. Somewhat interesting to see, at least the first hundred times. This brings to mind a story.
This dude Josh who also worked for the company used to like to drink wine and watch the water flow by on the canals. (this was on weekends) He also enjoyed the ships going by. The problem was the cops would hassle him for public drinking (not intoxication, just having a bottle) so Josh noticed people nearby fishing never got hassled by the man. Smart thinking Josh got himself a rod and a license and was set. No one would bother him, but the fish. He didn’t even want fish or to be fishing, but that was his beard, ya know? So he figures this out, he gets rid of the hook and bait. Also makes things easier. But the line wouldn’t stay in the water on a windy day – plenty of them in Chicago, ya know. So he ties a sinker on the end of the line and only has to cast once in the morning and he’s set for the day. Moral of the story, if you want to drink in public have a cover. Josh’s fishing license was really a drinking license in all but name. True story.
